PEER EVALUATION : 이진우
According to the rubric above, what grade would you give this essay? Why?
4점. persuasive essay의 기본적 구조에 맞게 글을 잘 썼고 thesis도 명확.
다만 아직 biobliography 작성이나 다듬어지지 않은 문장이 있는 것 같아서 1점을 깎았습니다.
How does this essay need to improve to get a better grade?
구조나 논리적인 면에서는 충분한 것 같으나 resource 표시를 안해서 그런지 confirmation 부분에 자료가 조금 부족하게 느껴짐.
Thesis
What is the thesis?
psychologists can't understand the human mind correctly only with one viewpoint – behavior
Is the thesis clear and debatable?
네
If you (The reviewer) wrote this essay, how would you have written the thesis?
똑같이
Any other thoughts?
.
Classical Argument
Can you easily identify the 5 parts of the classical argument? If no, what parts are missing?Does the introduction catch your attention? Does it comfortably lead to the thesis?
네. introduction부분이 좀 specific해서 오히려 흥미도는 조금 떨어질 것 같음.
Does the narration give all the necessary background information to understand the topic?
네
Does the confirmation adequately support the thesis?
네
Does the refutation and concession address a realistic counterpoint? Does it adequately dispute the counterpoint, or respond in a reasonable manner?
네
Does the conclusion summarize the article and address the larger significance of the thesis?
네
What suggestions do you have for improving the classical argument structure?
.
Persuasion
When you started reading the essay, did you agree or disagree with the thesis?
agree
When you finished the essay, did you agree or disagree with the thesis?
agree
If your mind changed, why? What parts of the essay were persuasive?
.
Research
Is the author using research effectively?
네
Is the research from appropriate sources?
중간 중간에 source표시가 없는 것이 아쉬움.
Are the sources obvious?
밑에 적혀있는 source표시도 명확하지 않음.
Are the pieces of evidence relevant to the thesis or essay?
네
Are there any parts of the essay that need evidence to support the claims?
없음.
2014년 11월 30일 일요일
2014년 11월 16일 일요일
Week 14 : Peer Review
PEER EVALUATION : 이지민
According to the rubric above, what grade would you give this essay? Why?
2점. classical argument 부분 중 confirmation part가 아예 없어서.
How does this essay need to improve to get a better grade?
우선 classical argument 형식에 맞추어서 글을 써야할 듯.
Thesis
What is the thesis?
Vaccines are effective to prevent diseases.
Is the thesis clear and debatable?
명확하지만 찬성하는 의견이 너무나 당연하게 여겨지기 때문에
debatable하지는 않은 듯.
If you (The reviewer) wrote this essay, how would you have written the thesis?
vaccines are the most effective method to prevent diseases.
Any other thoughts?
,
Classical Argument
Can you easily identify the 5 parts of the classical argument? If no, what parts are missing?Does the introduction catch your attention? Does it comfortably lead to the thesis?
No. confirmation 부분이 없음.
Does the narration give all the necessary background information to understand the topic?
네
Does the confirmation adequately support the thesis?
confirmation 없음.
Does the refutation and concession address a realistic counterpoint? Does it adequately dispute the counterpoint, or respond in a reasonable manner?
부작용에 대한 직접적인 반박이 아니라서 덜 설득적인 듯.
Does the conclusion summarize the article and address the larger significance of the thesis?
네
What suggestions do you have for improving the classical argument structure?
.
Persuasion
When you started reading the essay, did you agree or disagree with the thesis?
agree
When you finished the essay, did you agree or disagree with the thesis?
agree
If your mind changed, why? What parts of the essay were persuasive?
.
Research
Is the author using research effectively?
research가 부족한 것 같음.
Is the research from appropriate sources?
source 표시 없음.
Are the sources obvious?
source 표시 없음
Are the pieces of evidence relevant to the thesis or essay?
네
Are there any parts of the essay that need evidence to support the claims?
백신의 안정성에 대한 실험 결과 등을 confirmation 부분에서 제시해주면 더욱
설득력이 생길 것 같음.
According to the rubric above, what grade would you give this essay? Why?
2점. classical argument 부분 중 confirmation part가 아예 없어서.
How does this essay need to improve to get a better grade?
우선 classical argument 형식에 맞추어서 글을 써야할 듯.
Thesis
What is the thesis?
Vaccines are effective to prevent diseases.
Is the thesis clear and debatable?
명확하지만 찬성하는 의견이 너무나 당연하게 여겨지기 때문에
debatable하지는 않은 듯.
If you (The reviewer) wrote this essay, how would you have written the thesis?
vaccines are the most effective method to prevent diseases.
Any other thoughts?
,
Classical Argument
Can you easily identify the 5 parts of the classical argument? If no, what parts are missing?Does the introduction catch your attention? Does it comfortably lead to the thesis?
No. confirmation 부분이 없음.
Does the narration give all the necessary background information to understand the topic?
네
Does the confirmation adequately support the thesis?
confirmation 없음.
Does the refutation and concession address a realistic counterpoint? Does it adequately dispute the counterpoint, or respond in a reasonable manner?
부작용에 대한 직접적인 반박이 아니라서 덜 설득적인 듯.
Does the conclusion summarize the article and address the larger significance of the thesis?
네
What suggestions do you have for improving the classical argument structure?
.
Persuasion
When you started reading the essay, did you agree or disagree with the thesis?
agree
When you finished the essay, did you agree or disagree with the thesis?
agree
If your mind changed, why? What parts of the essay were persuasive?
.
Research
Is the author using research effectively?
research가 부족한 것 같음.
Is the research from appropriate sources?
source 표시 없음.
Are the sources obvious?
source 표시 없음
Are the pieces of evidence relevant to the thesis or essay?
네
Are there any parts of the essay that need evidence to support the claims?
백신의 안정성에 대한 실험 결과 등을 confirmation 부분에서 제시해주면 더욱
설득력이 생길 것 같음.
2014년 11월 15일 토요일
Second draft
Second Draft
Reading human mind is a material frequently used in SF movies or dramas. Even some magicians can pretend to read or really read human mind by using magical tricks. However, reading human mind is not something that only exist in SF movies and dramas. With the scientists' effort to actualize it, technologies for reading human mind have developed and one of them is fMRI. The fMRI is one of the brain scanning technologies that can observe the rapid changes of brain parts. It is quite familiar to people because brain scanning is showed up frequently in medical or crime-related dramas. However, will it be really effective if it is used for detecting criminals in reality? The effectiveness of the fMRI for lie detecting is a matter of debate but I think brain scanning, especially the fMRI, is an effective way to pick out criminals.
Like we can see through crime dramas such as CSI, various techniques are used in interrogation to detect criminal's lie. We have to measure the physical change of criminal which is caused by tension which occur when people lie. Now, there are some people who are well-trained to observe the signs that occur when people lie such as sweating and anxious eye movement. However, there are some limitations in this method. So, various methods that use machines to detect lie are invented. First, there is a lie detecting technique that measure the change of heart rate. Usually, when people hide something or get in a trouble, their heart rate goes up. By using the machine, detectives can observe the change of heart rate and get information about whether the criminal is lying or not. Also, there is another method that records the change of blood pressure, breath and heart rate. Leonarde Keelr made his own lie detector by adding skin conduction reaction through sweat. Keeler also made standardized software for lie detecting, means to ask criminals for effective lie detecting. Thanks to his active marketing, his lie detector spread rapidly. A lawyer, John Reid invented a new way to use lie detector. His innovation was inventing and using controlled question. Controlled question has not much relationship with something that detectives really want to know but brings emotional disturbance. According to the controlled question test, if the reaction of related questions is higher than the reaction of unrelated questions, the criminal is lying. A psychologist, David Lyken developed guilty knowledge test. By asking questions that are related to crime but that only criminals can answer, and measuring the reaction of criminals, people test whether the criminals' reaction increases rapidly when they answer to the crime-related questions. Surprisingly, some people even suggest palm- reading as one of the ways to detect criminals. Even though most East Asian countries like Korea, China and Japan consider palm-reading as a superstition, some West countries and India consider palm-reading as a worthy branch of learning. According to information from palmistry, people who believe palmistry think they can pick out criminals by looking at the shape of thumb or palm.
Like this, brain scanning is one of the techniques to detect lie. There are various types of brain scanning like EEG, measurement of the electrical activity of the brain by recording from electrodes placed on the scalp, MEG, imaging technique used to measure the magnetic fields produced by electrical activity in the brain via extremely sensitive devices known as SQUIDs, and fMRI, a technique for measuring brain activity. Among those brain scanning techniques, fMRI is considered as an effective lie detector.
When we carry out cognitive force like feeling some kind of fear, love, and astonishment our brains get active and fMRI technique measures the brain part that is active. Most of fMRI techniques use BOLD(blood oxygenation level dependent) way, which measure the quantity of oxygen in the brain's blood vessels to find which part of our brain is revitalized. Unlike other parts, the synapses of revitalized part of the brain get active and the blood rush to that part. The rushed blood brings the difference of blood oxygenation level. The fMRI technique visualizes the difference of blood oxidation level. Since specific parts of the brain get active when we lie, we can use fMRI technique to observe whether criminals are lying or not. Unlike other brain scanning techniques, fMRI technique doesn't have to inject radioactive matter into the brain. Also, people can even observe fast and specific reaction changes that occur in 1~ 2 seconds.
First, according to Kent Kiehl, a neuroscientist at the non-profit Mind Research Network in Albuquerque, New Mexico, and his collaborators, fMRI is an effective way to pick out criminals because it can find some people who have high possibility to reoffend. They studied 96 male prisoners before they release. They scanned the criminals' brain by fMRI technique while the criminals solve tasks that demand quick decisions and inhibit impulsive reactions. The inmates were instructed to press a button whenever they saw the letter X but not to press a button when they saw the letter K. In this study, Kent Kiehl and his collaborators focused on the activity of specific brain part named the anterior cingulate cortex(ACC). It is a small section in the front of the brain which perform motor control and executive functioning. According to the study result, men who had lower activity of ACC while solving tasks that demand quick decisions and inhibit impulsive reactions were more likely to reoffend. Inmates with low ACC were twice as likely as inmates with high ACC to be rearrested for a offense within four years of their release. Scientists even considered some factors like age, drug and alcohol abuse and psychopathic traits but the result was same.
BIBLIOGRAPHY
Reading human mind is a material frequently used in SF movies or dramas. Even some magicians can pretend to read or really read human mind by using magical tricks. However, reading human mind is not something that only exist in SF movies and dramas. With the scientists' effort to actualize it, technologies for reading human mind have developed and one of them is fMRI. The fMRI is one of the brain scanning technologies that can observe the rapid changes of brain parts. It is quite familiar to people because brain scanning is showed up frequently in medical or crime-related dramas. However, will it be really effective if it is used for detecting criminals in reality? The effectiveness of the fMRI for lie detecting is a matter of debate but I think brain scanning, especially the fMRI, is an effective way to pick out criminals.
Like we can see through crime dramas such as CSI, various techniques are used in interrogation to detect criminal's lie. We have to measure the physical change of criminal which is caused by tension which occur when people lie. Now, there are some people who are well-trained to observe the signs that occur when people lie such as sweating and anxious eye movement. However, there are some limitations in this method. So, various methods that use machines to detect lie are invented. First, there is a lie detecting technique that measure the change of heart rate. Usually, when people hide something or get in a trouble, their heart rate goes up. By using the machine, detectives can observe the change of heart rate and get information about whether the criminal is lying or not. Also, there is another method that records the change of blood pressure, breath and heart rate. Leonarde Keelr made his own lie detector by adding skin conduction reaction through sweat. Keeler also made standardized software for lie detecting, means to ask criminals for effective lie detecting. Thanks to his active marketing, his lie detector spread rapidly. A lawyer, John Reid invented a new way to use lie detector. His innovation was inventing and using controlled question. Controlled question has not much relationship with something that detectives really want to know but brings emotional disturbance. According to the controlled question test, if the reaction of related questions is higher than the reaction of unrelated questions, the criminal is lying. A psychologist, David Lyken developed guilty knowledge test. By asking questions that are related to crime but that only criminals can answer, and measuring the reaction of criminals, people test whether the criminals' reaction increases rapidly when they answer to the crime-related questions. Surprisingly, some people even suggest palm- reading as one of the ways to detect criminals. Even though most East Asian countries like Korea, China and Japan consider palm-reading as a superstition, some West countries and India consider palm-reading as a worthy branch of learning. According to information from palmistry, people who believe palmistry think they can pick out criminals by looking at the shape of thumb or palm.
Like this, brain scanning is one of the techniques to detect lie. There are various types of brain scanning like EEG, measurement of the electrical activity of the brain by recording from electrodes placed on the scalp, MEG, imaging technique used to measure the magnetic fields produced by electrical activity in the brain via extremely sensitive devices known as SQUIDs, and fMRI, a technique for measuring brain activity. Among those brain scanning techniques, fMRI is considered as an effective lie detector.
When we carry out cognitive force like feeling some kind of fear, love, and astonishment our brains get active and fMRI technique measures the brain part that is active. Most of fMRI techniques use BOLD(blood oxygenation level dependent) way, which measure the quantity of oxygen in the brain's blood vessels to find which part of our brain is revitalized. Unlike other parts, the synapses of revitalized part of the brain get active and the blood rush to that part. The rushed blood brings the difference of blood oxygenation level. The fMRI technique visualizes the difference of blood oxidation level. Since specific parts of the brain get active when we lie, we can use fMRI technique to observe whether criminals are lying or not. Unlike other brain scanning techniques, fMRI technique doesn't have to inject radioactive matter into the brain. Also, people can even observe fast and specific reaction changes that occur in 1~ 2 seconds.
If the efficiency of brain scanning(fMRI) is proved, it will be able to detect whether the criminal is lying or not. The result of fMRI can be used as powerful evidence about criminal's lie if they state falsely during statement. Also, according to some studies, brain scans can be used not only for lie detecting but also finding some people who have high possibility to recommit a crime. So, we can find latent reoffenders before they really reoffend and prevent reoffending and occurrence of another crime. We can find another way to treat that criminals and it will lead to the decrease of crime rate.
Since the efficiency of fMRI can be proved scientifically and scientific evidences are the most reliable evidences, my arguments are mostly based on scientific studies. I will suggest appropriate study results and expert opinions to support my argument.
First, according to Kent Kiehl, a neuroscientist at the non-profit Mind Research Network in Albuquerque, New Mexico, and his collaborators, fMRI is an effective way to pick out criminals because it can find some people who have high possibility to reoffend. They studied 96 male prisoners before they release. They scanned the criminals' brain by fMRI technique while the criminals solve tasks that demand quick decisions and inhibit impulsive reactions. The inmates were instructed to press a button whenever they saw the letter X but not to press a button when they saw the letter K. In this study, Kent Kiehl and his collaborators focused on the activity of specific brain part named the anterior cingulate cortex(ACC). It is a small section in the front of the brain which perform motor control and executive functioning. According to the study result, men who had lower activity of ACC while solving tasks that demand quick decisions and inhibit impulsive reactions were more likely to reoffend. Inmates with low ACC were twice as likely as inmates with high ACC to be rearrested for a offense within four years of their release. Scientists even considered some factors like age, drug and alcohol abuse and psychopathic traits but the result was same.
The fMRI technique can predict not only people who have possibility to reoffend but also people who lie. When people lie, specific parts of the brain get active and the blood rush to that part rapidly. By using fMRI technique, we can visualize the blood oxygenation level and catch rapid changes that happen in 1~2 seconds. So, we can observe whether the criminals are lying or not. In 2001, a English doctor, Sean Spence studied to find brain part that gets active when people lie. He used recent episodic memory to investigate activated brain part and found that brain part is ventrolateral prefrontal cortices(VLPFC), which is in charge of inhibitory control. Spense said this brain part is activated when people lie because people try to suppress saying the truth. After Spense's study, many other studies about lie have been performed. Many studies had same results with Spense's and scientists found that the reaction speed get slower when people lie because lying is a specific task performance that suppress truth and slower and more difficult than saying the truth.
Lastly, the difference between ordinary people's brains and criminals' brains can be distinguished by using brain scans. Scientists studied 21 people who have antisocial personality disorder, which many convicted criminals have. When scientists compared the brain scans of antisocial people with the brain scans of ordinary people, they could found that antisocial people's brains showed 18 percent reduction in the volume of the brain's middle frontal gyrus, and a 9 percent reduction in the volume of the orbital frontal gyrus. Also, according to the September 2009 Archives of General Psychiatry, another scientific study compared psychopaths and non-psychopaths. The researchers could observe deformations in psychopaths' brain part called the amygdala. Also, the psychopaths showed a thinning of the outer layer of cortex and volume reduction of that brain part. According to researcher team member Adrain Raine, that brain part(Amygdala) is in charge of emotion. Since psychopaths have deformation of that part, they lack emotion such as empathy, remorse, and guilt. Like this, we can observe many helpful clues for picking out criminals.
There must be some people who will disagree about my argument because of the price of fMRI machine and some study examples. However, those reasons are incomplete and have many points that can be contradicted.
First of all, the opponents usually took the price of fMRI machine as its weak point. According to them, an fMRI machine named New 1.5 Tesla Scanner often costs between $1,000,000 USD and $1,500,000 USD. Another fMRI machine named New 3.0 Tesla Scanner costs between $2,000,000 USD and $2,300,000 USD. It is true that the fMRI machines themselves are expensive. However, consider the budget sum for safety. In Korea, the national budget for safety is about $1,550,000,000USD. The price of lie detector is about 0.01% of it. So, actually it is not very expensive. Also, when you consider the effectiveness and potential effects of lie detector, you can understand why it is not expensive. Compared to other brain scanning techniques, the fMRI machine has the clearest picture of the brain. Also, it can observe whole brain part and the change of brain activity. Moreover, since people's interest in fMRI technique is very high, people try hard to develop the fMRI technique and accordingly, the fMRI technique is keep improving. So, the fMRI machine price will go down.
First of all, the opponents usually took the price of fMRI machine as its weak point. According to them, an fMRI machine named New 1.5 Tesla Scanner often costs between $1,000,000 USD and $1,500,000 USD. Another fMRI machine named New 3.0 Tesla Scanner costs between $2,000,000 USD and $2,300,000 USD. It is true that the fMRI machines themselves are expensive. However, consider the budget sum for safety. In Korea, the national budget for safety is about $1,550,000,000USD. The price of lie detector is about 0.01% of it. So, actually it is not very expensive. Also, when you consider the effectiveness and potential effects of lie detector, you can understand why it is not expensive. Compared to other brain scanning techniques, the fMRI machine has the clearest picture of the brain. Also, it can observe whole brain part and the change of brain activity. Moreover, since people's interest in fMRI technique is very high, people try hard to develop the fMRI technique and accordingly, the fMRI technique is keep improving. So, the fMRI machine price will go down.
Another reason that the opponents took is the exceptions. They argue that the fMRI machine sometimes can't distinguish people who are lying. For example, psychologists in the University of Cambridge published new study about brain scanning. During the study, they could find that some people can intentionally and voluntarily suppress their memories about crime. In their study, there were people who could manage to reduce their brain's cognition response and appear innocent but there were also some people who couldn't. Dr, Michael Anderson, researcher of the Medical Research Council Cognition and Brain Sciences Unit in Cambridge, said “Clearly, more research is needed to identify why some people were much more effective than others.” According to him, we can know that this is incomplete and still leaves much to be desired because there are many exceptions. So, it is unreasonable for the opponents to took it as their reason to disagree about my argument.
People have seen lie detecting machine through crime dramas or movies. However, there are not many people who were curious about the ways to detect lie or the most efficient way to detect lie. However, this curiosity can have enormous effect to the crime prevention and solving. If the brain scanning technique achieves recognition about its efficiency and is allowed to use in crime-related area, as I argued, it will be able to pick out inmates who have high possibility to reoffend and prevent another crime, leading to the decrease of crime rate. The brain scans will be used as powerful evidence about whether the criminal is lying or not and have an effect on the result of trial. Moreover, by finding differences between criminals' and people's brain, it will be able find treatments for serious criminals like psychopaths. These changes will make our society safer by affecting to the crime prevention and criminal treatment.
You may have heard about cases of criminals who got sentence reduction by confessing falsely as if they have psychological problems or get drunk. How the victims and their family would feel about it? And, how fearful it would be to think about meeting the criminals again when they get out? Even though it is not direct, unlike existing lie detecting techniques, brain scans can play a role in solving this problem by giving appropriate sentence by figuring out lies and preventing second conviction of the inmates. So, brain scans are an effective way to pick out criminals and should be used soon.
BIBLIOGRAPHY
1. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/you-illuminated/201304/can-we-predict-crime-using-brain-scans
2. http://www.nature.com/news/brain-scans-predict-which-criminals-are-more-likely-to-reoffend-1.12672
3. http://www.livescience.com/13083-criminals-brain-neuroscience-ethics.html
4. http://www.theguardian.com/science/blog/2011/jan/21/lying-brain-lie-detector-test
5. http://news.kbs.co.kr/news/NewsView.do?SEARCH_NEWS_CODE=2544676&retRef=Y&source=http://search.naver.com/search.naver?sm=tab_hty.top&where=nexearch&ie=utf8&query=MRI뇌범죄자&&source=http://news.kbs.co.kr/world/2012/10/02/2544676.html
5. http://news.kbs.co.kr/news/NewsView.do?SEARCH_NEWS_CODE=2544676&retRef=Y&source=http://search.naver.com/search.naver?sm=tab_hty.top&where=nexearch&ie=utf8&query=MRI뇌범죄자&&source=http://news.kbs.co.kr/world/2012/10/02/2544676.html
6. http://www.lawtimes.co.kr/LawNews/News/NewsContents.aspx?serial=49909
7. http://blog.yes24.com/blog/blogMain.aspx?blogid=plantbact&artSeqNo=3248292
7. http://blog.yes24.com/blog/blogMain.aspx?blogid=plantbact&artSeqNo=3248292
8. http://terms.naver.com/entry.nhn?docId=1968069&cid=42406&categoryId=42406
9. http://psychcentral.com/lib/types-of-brain-imaging-techniques/0001057
10. http://navercast.naver.com/contents.nhn?rid=57&contents_id=2379
11. http://susanwong.hubpages.com/hub/Palmistry-signs-Revealing-Criminal-Violent-Tendencies
12. http://www.cam.ac.uk/research/news/people-can-beat-guilt-detection-tests-by-suppressing-incriminating-memories
12. http://www.cam.ac.uk/research/news/people-can-beat-guilt-detection-tests-by-suppressing-incriminating-memories
Introduction for my second draft
The introduction:
- Attracts the audience.
- Explains the topic.
- Declares the thesis of your argument.
Introduction :
Reading human mind is a material frequently used in SF movies or dramas. Even some magicians can pretend to read or really read human mind by using magical tricks. However, reading human mind is not something that only exist in SF movies and dramas. With the scientists' effort to actualize it, technologies for reading human mind have developed and one of them is fMRI. The fMRI is one of the brain scanning technologies that can observe the rapid changes of brain parts. It is quite familiar to people because brain scanning is showed up frequently in medical or crime-related dramas. However, will it be really effective if it is used for detecting criminals in reality? The effectiveness of the fMRI for lie detecting is a matter of debate but I think brain scanning, especially the fMRI, is an effective way to pick out criminals.
2014년 11월 12일 수요일
Research 7 : Signs in Palmistry that Can Reveal a Person Who Have Criminal or Violent Tendencies
http://susanwong.hubpages.com/hub/Palmistry-signs-Revealing-Criminal-Violent-Tendencies
My topic :
Brain scanning(fMRI) is an effective way to pick out criminals.
What I hope to learn from this source :
About palmistry, what some people think they can detect criminals through it.
Notes :
The author said palmistry can be effective in the study of crimials because it can be used to recognize whether people are 'born criminals' if their environment is responsible.
(BORN CRIMINALS????????? ah... I really can't agree with that.)
Final Thoughts : I found it to put this information in my narration because I agreed with Sam Teacher's opinion : It would be really interesting if you talked a bit about some of the phonies who claimed they could detect criminals through things like palm-reading or hand-writing. Just an idea.
But this author says like it is a real good way to detect criminal. Em... And even though I read this article, I can't agree to consider palmistry as one of the ways to detect criminals but still I can put it in my narration as one of the ways considered to detect criminals.
My topic :
Brain scanning(fMRI) is an effective way to pick out criminals.
What I hope to learn from this source :
About palmistry, what some people think they can detect criminals through it.
Notes :
The author said palmistry can be effective in the study of crimials because it can be used to recognize whether people are 'born criminals' if their environment is responsible.
(BORN CRIMINALS????????? ah... I really can't agree with that.)
Signs used in palmistry to detect criminals
-Mout of Mars
-Mount of Venus
Final Thoughts : I found it to put this information in my narration because I agreed with Sam Teacher's opinion : It would be really interesting if you talked a bit about some of the phonies who claimed they could detect criminals through things like palm-reading or hand-writing. Just an idea.
But this author says like it is a real good way to detect criminal. Em... And even though I read this article, I can't agree to consider palmistry as one of the ways to detect criminals but still I can put it in my narration as one of the ways considered to detect criminals.
2014년 11월 9일 일요일
modified(only the misspellings)
My First Draft
Reading human mind is a frequent material that is used in SF movies such as X-man series. Besides, magicians can read or pretend to read human mind by using various magic tricks. However, is reading human mind an impossible thing in real life that can only happen in the movie? Lots of scientists have studied for a long time to make reading human mind possible. As a result, various methods like brain scanning and a lie detector have been suggested for reading human mind. If these methods are used in crime related area, people can know whether the criminal is lying or not when he or she is making statement. Also, it is expected to be possible to know the possibility of second conviction of criminals after their release. However, the effectiveness of these methods, especially brain scanning, is still a matter of debate. Accordingly, there is a variety of opinion about whether these methods can be used in professional areas. Brain scanning is an effective way to pick our criminals.
Like we can see through crime dramas such as CSI, various techniques are used in interrogation to detect criminal's lie. We have to measure the physical change of criminal which is caused by tension which occur when people lie. Now, there are some people who are well-trained to observe the signs that occur when people lie such as sweating and anxious eye movement. However, there are some limitations in this method so various methods that use machines to detect lie are invented. First, there is a lie detecting technique that measure the change of heart rate. Usually, when people hide something or get in a trouble, their heart rate goes up. By using the machine, detectives can observe the change of heart rate and get information about whether the criminal is lying or not. Also, there is another method that record the change of blood pressure, breath and heart rate. Leonarde Keelr made his own lie detector by adding skin conduction reaction through sweat. Keeler also made standardized software for lie detecting, means to ask criminals for effective lie detecting. Thanks to his active marketing, his lie detector spread rapidly. A lawyer, John Reid invented a new way to use lie detector. His innovation was inventing and using controlled question. Controlled question has not much relationship with something that detectives really want to know but brings emotional disturbance. According to the controlled question test, if the reaction of related question is higher than the reaction of unrelated question, the criminal is lying. A psychologist, David Lyken developed guilty knowledge test. By asking questions that are related to crime but that seem only criminals know, and measuring the reaction of criminals, people test whether the criminals' reaction increase rapidly when they answer to the crime-related questions. (I have to add some information about palm-reading. )
Like this, brain scanning is one of the techniques to detect lie. There are various types of brain scanning like EEG, measurement of the electrical activity of the brain by recording from electrodes placed on the scalp, MEG, imaging technique used to measure the magnetic fields produced by electrical activity in the brain via extremely sensitive devices known as SQUIDs and fMRI, a technique for measuring brain activity. Among those brain scanning techniques, fMRI is considered as an effective lie detector.
When we carry out cognitive force like feeling some kind of fear, love, and astonishment our brains get active and fMRI technique measures the brain part that is active. Most of fMRI techniques use BOLD(blood oxygenation level dependent) way, which measure the quantity of oxygen in the brain's blood vessels to find which part of our brain is revitalized. Unlike other parts, the synapse of revitalized part of brain get active and the blood rush to that part. The rushed blood brings the difference of blood oxygenation level. The fMRI technique visualizes the difference of blood oxidation level. Since specific parts of the brain get active when we lie, we can use fMRI technique to observe whether criminals are lying or not. Unlike other brain scanning techniques, fMRI technique doesn't have to inject radioactive matter into the brain. Also, people can even observe fast and specific reaction changes that occur in 1~ 2 seconds.
If the efficiency of brain scanning(fMRI) is proved, it will be able to detect whether the criminal is lying or not. The result of fMRI can be used as powerful evidence about criminal's lie if they state falsely during statement. Also, according to some studies, brain scans can be used not only for lie detecting but also finding some people who have high possibility to recommit a crime. So, we can find latent reoffenders before they really reoffend and prevent reoffending and occurrence of another crime. We can find another way to treat that criminals and it will lead to the decrease of crime rate.
Since the efficiency of fMRI can be proved scientifically and scientific evidences are the most reliable evidences, my arguments are mostly based on scientific studies. I will suggest appropriate study results and expert opinions to support my argument.
First, fMRI is an effective way to pick out criminals because it can find some people who have high possibility to reoffend according to Kent Kiehl, a neuroscientist at the non-profit Mind Research Network in Albuquerque, New Mexico, and his collaborators. They studied 96 male prisoners before they release. They scanned the criminals' brain by fMRI technique while the criminals solve tasks that demand quick decisions and inhibit impulsive reactions. The inmates were instructed to press a button whenever they saw the letter X but not to press a button when they saw the letter K. In this study, Kent Kiehl and his collaborators focused on the activity of specific brain part named the anterior cingulate cortex(ACC). It is a small section in the front of the brain which perform motor control and executive functioning. According to the study result, men who had lower activity of ACC while solving tasks that demand quick decisions and inhibit impulsive reactions were more likely to reoffend. Inmates with low ACC were twice as likely as inmates with high ACC to be rearrested for a offense within four years of their release. Scientists even considered some factors like age, drug and alcohol abuse and psychopathic traits but the result was same.
The fMRI technique can predict not only people who have possibility to reoffend but also people who lie. When people lie, specific parts of the brain get active and the blood rush to that part rapidly. By using fMRI technique, we can visualize the blood oxygenation level and catch rapid changes that happen in 1~2 seconds. So, we can observe whether the criminals are lying or not. In 2001, a English doctor, Sean Spence studied to find brain part that gets active when people lie. He used recent episodic memory to investigate activated brain part and found that brain part is ventrolateral prefrontal cortices(VLPFC), which is in charge of inhibitory control. Spense said this brain part is activated when people lie because people try to suppress saying the truth. After Spense's study, many other studies about lie have been performed. Many studies had same results with Spense's and scientists found that the reaction speed get slower when people lie because lying is a specific task performance that suppress truth and slower and more difficult than saying the truth.
Lastly, the difference between ordinary people's brains and criminals' brains can be distinguished by using brain scans. Scientists studied 21 people who have antisocial personality disorder, which many convicted criminals have. When scientists compared the brain scans of antisocial people with the brain scans of ordinary people, they could found that antisocial people's brains showed 18 percent reduction in the volume of the brain's middle frontal gyrus, and a 9 percent reduction in the volume of the orbital frontal gyrus. Also, according to the September 2009 Archives of General Psychiatry, another scientific study compared psychopaths and non-psychopaths. The researchers could observe deformations in psychopaths' brain part called the amygdala. Also, the psychopaths showed a thinning of the outer layer of cortex and volume reduction of that brain part. According to researcher team member Adrain Raine, that brain part(Amygdala) is in charge of emotion. Since psychopaths have deformation of that part, they lack emotion such as empathy, remorse, and guilt. Like this, we can observe many helpful clues for picking out criminals.
There must be some people who will disagree about my argument because of the price of fMRI machine and some study examples. However, those reasons are incomplete and have many points that can be contradicted.
First of all, the opponents usually took the price of fMRI machine as its weak point. According to them, an fMRI machine named New 1.5 Tesla Scanner often costs between $1,000,000 USD and $1,500,000 USD. Another fMRI machine named New 3.0 Tesla Scanner costs between $2,000,000 USD and $2,300,000 USD. It is true that the fMRI machines are expensive because $2,300,000 USD is more than 42times of Americans' average income. However, most of medical devices are expensive and when you consider the effectiveness and good points of fMRI, you can understand why it is not expensive. Compared to other brain scanning techniques, the fMRI machine has the clearest picture of the brain. Also, it can observe whole brain part and the change of brain activity. Moreover, since people's interest in fMRI technique is very high, people try hard to develop the fMRI technique and accordingly, the fMRI technique is keep improving. So, the fMRI machine price will go down. (I should find information about the national budget for safety to emphasize the rationality of brain scanning machines' price.)
Another reason that the opponents took is the exceptions. They argue that the fMRI machine sometimes can't distinguish people who are lying. For example, psychologists in the University of Cambridge published new study about brain scanning and during the study, they could find that some people can intentionally and voluntarily suppress their memories about crime. In their study, there were people who could manage to reduce their brain's cognition response and appear innocent but there were also some people who couldn't. Dr, Michael Anderson, of the Medical Research Council Cognition and Brain Sciences Unit in Cambridge, said “Clearly, more research is needed to identify why some people were much more effective than others.” According to him, we can know that this is incomplete and still leaves much to be desired because there are many exceptions. So, it is unreasonable for the opponents to took it as their reason to disagree about my argument.
People have seen lie detecting machine through crime dramas or movies. However, there are not many people who were curious about the ways to detect lie or the most efficient way to detect lie. However, this curiosity can have enormous effect to the crime prevention and solving. If the brain scanning technique achieve recognition about its efficiency and is allowed to use in crime related area, as I argued, it will be able to pick out inmates who have high possibility to reoffend and prevent another crime, leading to the decrease of crime rate. The brain scans will be used as powerful evidence about whether the criminal is lying or not and have an effect on the result of trial. Moreover, by finding differences between criminals' and people's brain, it will be able find treatments for serious criminals like psychopaths. These changes will make our society safer by affecting to the crime prevention and criminal treatment.
You may have heard about cases of criminals who got sentence reduction by confessing falsely as if they have psychological problems or get drunk. How the victims and their family would feel about it? And, how fearful it would be to think about meeting the criminals again when they get out? Even though it is not direct, unlike existing lie detecting techniques, brain scans can play a role in solving this problem by giving appropriate sentence by figuring out lying and preventing second conviction of the inmates. So, brain scans is an effective way to pick out criminals and should be used soon.
2014년 11월 2일 일요일
Week 12 : Feedback
Feedback from Sam Teacher :
Your introduction should flow more naturally into your thesis. You start with many questions and uncertainties, then make a strong conclusion in your thesis statement. Your introduction should prepare the reader to hear your thesis.
Good narration - I like the background on lie detectors. It would be really interesting if you talked a bit about some of the phonies who claimed they could detect criminals through things like palm-reading or hand-writing. Just an idea.
GREAT confirmation - A lot of detailed research and thorough explanation.
Your refutations can be improved. You chose good counterarguments to your position, but you don't tell us why those counterarguments are wrong. Can you calculate how much repeat offending criminals cost? I assume Korea spends a lot more than 2,000,000$ on them.
So, I should modify my introduction and refutation first because they are weaker than other parts. Then, I want to put some more information to narration(As Sam Teacher said, it will be interesting if I put some of the phonies). Also, I want to do some more research and strengthen my arguments if I can.
피드 구독하기:
글 (Atom)